Shout-out to my fellow Fandom Olds who lived through Strikethrough/Boldthrough on LJ and knew this day would eventually come here on Tumblr.com also
Especial shout-out to the heroes at AO3 who designed their whole operation knowing that every other platform fandom used would pull this bullshit sooner or later
I remember all the Doctor Who fanfics I used to read where Rose often got badly stereotyped as a damsel in distress whom the Doctor had to swoop in and save and smooch but the way I remember Doctor Who 90% of their relationship was the Doctor just setting Rose loose on people who had done something to offend them and sitting back giggling in the corner as she shouted
Red flag: “No one but me is allowed to touch you.”
Totally cool: “It makes me feel weird when you flirt with other people, can we talk about that?”
Red flag: “If you loved me, you would stop being friends with them. You KNOW it makes me jealous.”
Totally cool: “I hope we’re together forever. I’m so in this for the long haul.”
Red flag: “If you ever left me, I would kill myself.”
Totally cool: “Your mom is really unkind to me, can we try to minimize how often you bring me when you visit her?”
Red flag: “Your mom hates me, you need to stop talking to her. She’s trying to ruin our relationship.”
Totally cool: “I love you so much, oh my god.”
Red flag: “It’s a good thing I love you so much, because no one else would. You’d be alone forever without me.”
Other important red flags to keep in mind: someone who wants to jump into emotional/financial co-dependence very fast (like moving in together right away, or becoming each other’s only confidantes right away) and won’t take no for an answer; someone who tries to minimize how often you leave the house or interact with other people; someone who threatens you or themselves or your family or pets or possessions or financial future; someone who uses guilt to keep you from leaving a relationship.
Very important reminder: You do not need a reason to leave a relationship. Neither does the other person (or people). A relationship is over when one of the people in it says it’s over, period. Obviously it’s kind to take the end of a long relationship seriously, but abusers and manipulators have lost the right to that conversation. Lie if you need to–your safety is much more important than their feelings.
Trust your instincts!
I will reblog this forever
This is so true and more people need to realise this
“Your safety is much more important than their feelings” is one of the realest statements ever.
Know the red flags, you aren’t obligated to stay in an unhealthy/toxic relationship.
Guys seriously please keep this in mind!!! Stay safe!!!!
